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  • Germophobic Paranoia Blues and Other Dream Tunes

Germophobic Paranoia Blues and Other Dream Tunes

Posted on February 22, 2021February 22, 2021 By Tom No Comments on Germophobic Paranoia Blues and Other Dream Tunes
Music
Square Piano Keyboard

I have weird dreams. Sometimes I’ll dream an entire piece of music and have to get up immediately and go to a keyboard. Sometimes this works. Other times I realized that it’s just a piece of music I heard somewhere that got stuck in my head. Once I dreamed I heard the 23rd Psalm sung to the tune of “Shady Grove.” I got up and wrote an SATB choral arrangement based on that dream and had my choir sing it the following Sunday.

I was composing a piece for my parents 60th anniversary. I had the verses, but was struggling with the chorus. I dreamed about Jurassic Park and the music from the movie stuck in my head. When I woke up I realized that if I inverted the main theme, turned it upside down musically, it would fit the lyrics for the chorus perfectly.

During this pandemic you would have thought I’d have lots of time to compose. I have been learning new songs. I got into the TikTok Sea Shanty Craze and learned to sing “Wellerman.” I even wrote my own version of “What Shall We Do with a Drunken Sailor?” entitled “What Shall We Do with a Drunken Taylor?” I forced my Washington State Bring Your Own Guitar friends to sing it with me via Zoom.

What Shall We Do with a Drunken Taylor?

Am
What shall we do with a drunken Taylor
G
What shall we do with a drunken Taylor?
Am
What shall we do with a drunken Taylor,
E                 Am
Early in the morning?

[Chorus]
Am
Way, hey! And up she rises!
G
Way, hey! And up she rises!
Am
Way, hey! And up she rises
E.                 Am    
Early in the morning.

Pour him a tall mug of steaming coffee,
Pour him a tall mug of steaming coffee,
Pour him a tall mug of steaming coffee,
Early in the morning.

Fix him yet another dry martini,
Fix him yet another dry martini,
Fix him yet another dry martini,
Early in the morning.

Put him in a kayak until he’s sober,
Put him in a kayak until he’s sober,
Put him in a kayak until he’s sober,
Early in the morning.

Make him play the banjo and sing a tune, Oh,
Make him play the banjo and sing a tune, Oh,
Make him play the banjo and sing a tune, Oh,
Early in the morning.

What shall we do with a drunken Taylor?
What shall we do with a drunken Taylor?
What shall we do with a drunken Taylor,
Early in the morning?

Mostly, though, I’ve just been goofing around with my various instruments. I really don’t get motivated to compose unless I have a specific group for which to write, such as a choir or one of my jam groups.

Pickens Flea Market Musicians Circle
Pickens Flea Market Music

I stumbled on this set of lyrics that I wrote back in June of 2019, pre-pandemic. At the time I was playing regularly at the Pickens Flea Market on Wednesdays as well as playing at Quest Brewing. I dreamed a set of blues lyrics for those venues and had to jot them down when I awoke.

The lyrics seem appropriate today. However, having attended a couple of COVID funerals, the “funeral verse” doesn’t seem quite as funny as it did when I wrote it in 2019. Perhaps a bit too close to home. The coda section is sung to the tune of “Yesterday.”

Germophobic Paranoia Blues

So now just go away
With your pox and your flus
I got no time to be sick,
I’ve got the germaphobic paranoia blues

Went to my doctor
He said my fever was high.
I said, “Now tell me the truth, Doc.
You know that I‘m a tough guy.”
He said, “It’s just a head cold, boy.
This time you ain’t gonna die.”

So now just go away
With your pox and your flus
I got no time to be sick,
I’ve got the germaphobic paranoia blues

I went to a funeral
There was grief mixed with flowers and roses.
The family stood all around,
Wiping tears and blowing their noses.
I said I mourn for your loss, I’d like to be a sympathizer,
But don’t give me no hug until you dowse yourself with hand sanitizer.

So now just go away
With your pox and your flus
I got no time to be sick,
I’ve got the germaphobic paranoia blues

Leprosy,
All my skin is falling off of me.
I’m not half the man I used to be,
Since I contracted leprosy.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll do my own TikTok video that will go viral.

Tags: Music

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