Today would have been Dad’s 88th birthday. I thought I would be OK and brave it out on this first birthday without him, but that just didn’t happen. Everywhere around I see reminders, and it’s hit me harder than I would have thought.
I thought holidays would be bad – the first Thanksgiving and Christmas, etc. While we did miss him on those events, this is worse. Those holidays we have family and friends around to distract, and the emphasis is on other things. A birthday is focused on the individual, which makes their absence even more poignant.
Viewing the D. R. Hill materials yesterday didn’t help one bit. The old photos of schools reminded me of my father’s long career in education. It seemed like he was there at every turn.
Then there was Facebook this morning. The ubiquitous reminder popped up cheerfully stating that today is Houston Taylor’s birthday and reminding me to write on his wall. Several had already done that on his timeline. While I’m glad they have done that, it just made me feel weird, and I couldn’t do it. Writing here doesn’t have the same effect because this is my personal space.
I’ll make it through the day, and there will be plenty of distractions at work to keep me occupied, but I’m sure it will still sneak up on me when I least expect it. Tomorrow I’ll get to see my mother, brothers and sisters and I’m sure there will be a time of remembrance then, too.
So, Happy Birthday, Dad. Wish you were here with us to go on another of those infamous rambling explorations. We miss you.
Oh Tom, it really hit me too today. And you said it best – this is a personal day, for and about him, and we miss him!
Thanks for this. I know what you mean. Dad’s birthday was July 12. I feel his loss every day.